Escaping IKEA

Synne (Sunny) was a forgien exchange student this past year from Norway. She told me a joke one time that went like this,

Synne-"How do you save a Swedish person from drowning?"

Me-"I don't know...."

Synne-"Good."

I wasn't sure why that was supposed to be funny, but I laughed anyways and assumed it was similar to our blonde jokes.
Well this past weekend I think I learned why it was funny...

IKEA - (pronounced Land-of-Crap)

I swear I never want to go there again in my life.

For those of you who have yet to experience this store-It is big, blue and yellow. Filled with cheap furniture. And the "theme country"? You guessed it, SWEDEN.

I may be a storephobe but this was ridiculous.

You walk in and they have a DAYCARE center...When I first saw it I laughed to myself and said, "Only in Utah." Now I'm wondering, should I have said, "Only in Ikea"? (Oh, and the daycare was at max capacity as well which means people actually let the store babysit their children while they shopped.)

They try to make the store more personable. So in this Swedish furniture store they feed you, watch your kids, play movies for your kids, write signs that sound completely unprofessional, organize show rooms by product (an entire room of lamps, a room for pillows, a room for wood, a room for kitchen ware...) and try to keep you there as long as possible by creating a MAZE you can only go forward in.

It feels like a strange cult store.

So we walked past the day care and the movie and went up an escalator.

At the top we ate lunch (on the menu were a few "Swedish" entrees.) They had big signs hanging around with Swedish words on them and punctuation guides...it was kind of cool at first but i didn't get why they were there at this point in the story.

Then we followed the arrows on the floor and wound up in the first of the show rooms. My parents looked around and my sisters grabbed at everything in sight. My parents then suggested that we turn around and go back over to the movie playing next to the day care. Great, I though, they're playing mega mind and I don't have to walk though this entire place:)

So my parents went on their way and we turned around.

(This is where the trouble begins)

Remember how I said we went UP an escalator to get to the cafeteria? After that we went DOWN an escalator to get to where we were.

But there was no escalator taking us back to where we started.

But the entrance wasn't far away and I knew it. So we turned around and headed toward it. Soon the doors were in sight, the only thing in our way was a 4 wide lane of shopping carts stacked from wall to wall baring our way.

But then the sign read "Check out -->" So we followed it.
Room after room after room after room we followed those signs.

At one point everyone was sure I had gotten us lost. But I reassured them that there was NO WHERE ELSE TO GO and the entrance was blocked by shopping carts and backwards escalators!

So we walked some more...Room after room after room after room after room.

The building made our mall look small, and they had it so segregated and mapped out that you had to walk through every single section of it.

About 10 minutes of walking later we saw a long long row of check out registers.

Hallelujah!

We navigated our way around them and back to the movie (getting close to over) and sat down in the chairs (might I add that the chairs were not butt friendly-my chair was sufficiently filled) And I called my dad. I told him if he wanted to make it out within an hour he had better start walking NOW.

They started walking then.

We saw them 20 minutes later.

Adios Ikea,

I hope we never meet again.

--------------------------------------

Synne, "How do you save a Swedish person from drowning?"

Me, "I don't know..."

Synne, "Good."

Amen.

Empty

There is a deep and abiding pit in my full belly that can only be filled with...a Falafle Pita Sandwich...
No one understands my pain D:
Stupid Country of ours doesn't make food like that...
We don't even have McFalafles in America...Noooo of course not, instead we get McChicken's...Not even close to what I want :(

Hahahaha...oh dear

While making that last post I came across an image...

Have a nice day!

Crack pots, Mormons, Puppies, Wisconsners, Horse Shows, High Heals and Nephews...

In other words, my past week :)

I am so glad I am a Mormon. If I wasn't I'd never have a chance to wear dresses, and wearing dresses is fun...wearing high heals and being even taller than normal is even more fun. I would wear them with my jeans more often if people would quit yelling at me...They just don't understand the immense pleasures of being tall, even if I do bang my head on things and get bossed around by midgets (you know who you are...)

ANYWAYS, life is good :)

My puppy is growing, still. He looks sooo skinny right now because he just keeps getting taller and his belly is too full to eat anymore food. He sure is cute. And he's starting to settle down too. The other day he tried to attack my Poppa, who just had knee surgery and is hobbling around with a cane...that was interesting. I think he wanted his cane. I'm not sure, but it was funny. He was being so good and gentle with everyone else and then when he saw my Poppa he just wanted to play and he darn near knocked him over haha.

My nephew and I are finally friends on a Non-food related basis. It is a *miracle*. But he thinks my horses are puppies and won't listen to me when I try to unconfuse him...I guess when you're that small the difference between my dog and my horse aren't big enough to take notice of. Oh well, what matters is he doesn't hate me :) and dang is he cute. Between him and his sister I have super fun sisters-kids.

I had a Horse Show last weekend!!!! WOOOHOOO! It was super great. I took Cowgirl, who is being leased to me by an insanely sweet couple in my ward at church, and we did so well! That day is so full of good news :) these are the highlights,
1. I didn't freak out before any of my classes, that is new.
2. She didn't try to kill me, even once.
3. I didn't get dead last in any of my classes or have anyone give me dirty looks while I tried to calm my monster down.
4. Someone said it looked like we had been riding together for years, when in reality we had ridden together four times prior :) that was an awesome complement.
5. The judges were reeeeeally good and so sweet and helpful. They did an excellent job.
6. I didn't cry all day long :)
7. We got Second in our first class, showmanship. It was GREAT.
8. We got Third in trail, we had never practiced that together so I am happy with how we did.
9. We placed second in our pattern class :)
10. WE PLACED FIRST IN EQUITATION. I almost screamed I was so happy. For five minutes I had to keep from talking cause all I could do was squeal. After that I squeaked for a while, hehe. Best. Class. Of. My. Life.
10. It was just all good. Very good.
---The Bad of that day,
1. My chaps don't fit any more D: but that will change soon.

We had family in from Wisconsin this weekend, they are so sweet. They brought us three HUGE tubs of cheese balls...hahaha.

Today, during Sacrament Meeting, my Bishop announced,

"We are all crack pots..."

I laughed all during the closing remarks, hymn, prayer (I kept it at a low giggle during that) and then down the hall to my class.

Spiritual thought FAIL.

Crack Pot he was refering too ^

Crack Pot the rest of the ward was thinking of...

Chocolate, Pasta and Peanut Butter

If only all the world were this wonderful :)

Are you a...

Every year in seminary we have someone from the LDS Adult Institute classes come and speak to us. Their job is to tell us a little bit about institute and then enroll the graduating seniors into the up comming classes.

Typically speaking they have about ten minutes where they talk to us and tell us a few things. In this time there is usually an object lesson or something funny that draws our attention to get us to enroll.

Well today was the day my seminary class was visited.

During this quarter I have been sitting in the front row one seat over from the wall, so it's a pretty good seat...close enough up so I stay quiet and don't eat in class but to the side far enough that I don't get spit on when their talking or feel like there are a million eyes staring at the back of my head.

The object lesson was over and our visitor from the institute was telling us a story about something that had happened. In the middle of his sentence he stops cold, points a finger at me and asks,

"Are you a white?"

Well...I'm not sure how many people have been asked this question before...but I was confused out of my mind.

First I looked at my skin...

Are you a white...like paper

Then I thought about symbolic colors...

Are you a white...pretty much, I haven't been sinning...

Then I thought about personality profiling

Are you a white...No, I am a yellow. Besides...why would he be asking me this?? Did I miss something...I really doubt they took a personality test the day I was gone last week and who would even remember someting like that...

Needless to say I had a very blank expression and answered him with an "uhhh...."

He then asked,

"What's your last name? You look like you're related to the Whites."

"OHH! I thought you were asking for my race there for a moment! No, I am a Lytle and we are not related."

I thought it was pretty darn funny. After wards one of the girls told me I should have said I was a Mexican haha :)

Peace out!

This is me :)

Being in the sunshine makes me happy, if i were reincarnated I'd want to be a house cat so I could bask in the window

Not having my toe nails done makes me unhappy

I love to read

I need a hug at least once a day, preferably more

Pasta is delicious

Tacos are more delicious

I like big words like Ubiquitious and Floccinaucinihilipilification, and I can use them in a sentence too.

Brownies are a staple food

Kittens are adorable, Cat spelled backwards is Satan

Sometimes I forget to eat lunch, but I snack enough I probably eat six full meals a day

When I play the piano my fingers get cold, but its how I express pain and joy

I could write for hours on end

I love Looooooooooooooong trail rides with my baby

I love to dry flowers and keep them

My hair is RED, not brownish or orange or auburn, Red.

I enjoy drawing but when I start something it consumes me for hours

I am easily entertained

I am very forgiving, but I hate being taken advantage of

Sugarland makes me feel better

Everyone needs to dance once in a while

Water scares me, but I love beaches.

I hate bad grammar; it drives me bonkers...my favorite punctuation mark is a semi colon.

I love to sing.

I have a temper, but it takes a lot to push me over the edge. When I get pushed that far I snap.

Pink is not my color, i can't wear it very often but on occasion I do :)

*Sequins are the best*

Hay smells good, but it makes me sneeze...bad

I love chaps.

If you call them "Chaps" I will yell at you. Lips get Chapped. You wear Sh-aps.

I am very opinionated.

If I don't have an A I'm pretty unhappy...okay I'm VERY unhappy.

Getting a 98 isn't good enough if I know I've studied, but I can deal with it.

I have been playing piano since I was eight

My socks never match...and there is a reason for it too!

My flip flops don't match often, but they have to be the same brand if they are different colors...brand mixing doesn't work, they feel funny that way.

Saying "I love you" is something I do. Get used to it and stop freaking out, chances are I'm not trying to date you or your mother.

I am a perfectionist

Music is always on. I'm either listening, playing, creating or thinking music...silence does not happen

Blue is the best :)

I respond to many different names. Ones I get fairly often are Danielle (duh,) Muff, Nellie, Ginger, Denise (thank you seminary teachers 1, 2 and 3 lol) and a few others I can't think of

I love Shinee...silly Koreans.

Now that I think of it I know songs in English, Korean, Spanish, a little of something African and Italian...I am well rounded :) if you need something to listen to call me and I will give you a list

I wish I was black or Asian, but Redhead works just fine for me :)

I love where I live...Small town IDAHO baby!!!

My Quote of the week this week is,

"IDAHO'S the state that makes this country worth livin' in!!!!"

-crazy guy from the video in my history class...I wish I could post it :D

Being mean does nothing for you but dig holes, even strangers deserve a smile and someone polite.

Chocolate cake in a cup=good stuff

Life was made for love. So learn how or you'll not only grow old but miserable as well:)